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It’s summertime and the livin’ is easy! Soon you’ll be on holidays and enjoying the gorgeous sunny weather, time with family, grillin’ and chillin’, the beach or pool and a good book. Many of us identify these times as our ideals. *sigh* If we could only win the lottery then everyday could be like this!
What is it about these times we identify as ideal? Why do we love vacations? Because we don’t have to get up at a certain time? We have flexible time, flexible plans. Because we have memorable fun times with friends and family? Because we take the time to read the book we put off the rest of the year?
Are these things not all important to our health and happiness? So why do we marginalize these things, relegating them to 2 weeks a year (if we even take vacations)? Why do we spend only our vacations, and maybe a small part of our weekends actually living?
What if we could have more moments like these? What if we took the time to figure out what activities and states of being contribute to our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health? What if we began to actually live our lives now, instead of what Tim Ferriss calls the “deferred life plan”?
Our happiness with our lives depends on satisfaction in each of what Florence Shinn, in “The Game of Life,” calls the four pillars – health, wealth, love and self-expression. There is usually at least one which needs work.
Let’s take a little quiz, shall we? On a scale of 0 to 10, with 0 being horrible or non-existent, and 10 being awesome, perfect, ideal, could not be better. Five is “eh, whatever…”, okay, not what I want but marginally serviceable. Take a look at each segment of your life and rank it. When you are done you will clearly see where you need to do some fixin’, as well as giving you a general score of how well you are living according to what you want.
Pillar 1: Health
_________ Health (Do you feel healthy? Exercise enough? Healthy diet?)
_________ Spiritual (Are you happy? Do you feel at peace with your life, your choices? Do you feel balanced and centered? Have you developed your intuition? )
_________ Self-care (Do you actually make time to take care of your own needs?)
Pillar 2: Wealth
_________ Finances (Are your finances in good shape, or are you worried about them?)
_________ Career (Work: a passion or calling? Fulfilling?)
Pillar 3: Love
_________ Love relationship (Do you have one? Is it fulfilling?)
_________ Family (Communication? Close? Loving?)
_________ Social life (Friends – frequent enough quality time?)
Pillar 4: Self-expression
_________ Hobbies/free time (Do you make time? Is it satisfying?)
_________ Home/surroundings/location (Is your home (and office) comfortable, nice, functional, organized? Your home/workplace/community – are they places you want to spend time in?)
Total: ________ out of 100
Soooooo………. Are you living the life you want to live? Is your score as high as you hoped it would be? Were you surprised by your score? Did you notice which of the 4 pillars you may want to focus on first? Please tell us more about it in the comments below.
PS: The 4 pillars need to be built upon a strong foundation….!
PPS: If you scored less than 85 stay tuned for the revolutionary new intuitive lifestyle design program which will be released shortly!
PPPS: Coaching question for you to ask yourself: What inspires and nourishes me and what greater possibilities can I create with that?
from The Winner’s Circle with Lou Tice
How much unnecessary junk is accumulating in your attic? No, not the one in your house – I mean your mental attic.
Since we are in the middle of what many of us call “spring cleaning” time, many of us sort out and discard possessions we no longer use and give them to charity or sell them at a garage sale. But have you ever thought about how valuable it could be if you took the time to perform the same kind of mental housecleaning?
Removing the superfluous, the unnecessary, the destructive, or the outlived from our mental attics is a vital part of making room for new possibilities. I know one man who often says, with his jaw tightly clenched and a no-nonsense expression on his face, “I know who I am!”
But we can’t possibly stay the same if we are living creatures. Each surprise, each unpredictable turn, each new venture, produces the potential for new insights, new responses, and new resilience. A willingness to change is a prerequisite for openness to life. And without that willingness, we become stuck in our need for stability and certainty. Eventually, if we stay stuck long enough, we stagnate. We exist, but we don’t really live.
Is there any junk in your mental attic that you would be better off without – a grudge, a hurt, maybe an outgrown assumption? A job, an outworn “must” or “should,” or an old anger? Why not clean it out?
I had an interesting question posed to me, “How do you clean out all the hurts and go about this mental housekeeping?” Fair questions that deserve answers.
Hurts are the most difficult things to get over, because of the emotional imprint we add to the experience, and then store that memory in our subconscious. Each time we remember the incident or situation, we also recall the pain and hurt, which just solidifies the memory. Some people spend their entire lives purposely remembering old hurts.
It takes a fair amount of work to put those emotional memories into a different perspective, and a lot of that work is self-reflection. Asking yourself the questions, “What else might have been going on, that I might have missed?” and “What was it, inside of me, that caused me to react in the way I did?” Sometimes, those self-answers are more revealing than we expect.
The good news is that, while we are taking the time to answer these questions (and any others that come to mind during these times of self-reflection), we are cleaning out old mental cobwebs, dusting off even older memories that we may have buried away, under other memories, and illuminating our mental attics.
Self-reflection is like uncovering windows and throwing them open, to let sunlight and fresh air into closed spaces. The light allows us to “see” each memory in full with no shadows, and the fresh “breezes” give us a chance to change our perspective.
What we decide to keep or throw away is up to each of us. Sometimes, an altered perspective allows us to toss the hurt or the pain, and create a new memory of a new lesson learned.
A guest post by Steve Payne
As a totally awesome spouse I downloaded a new album from iTunes the other day. Before going any further; downloading music is one of those things in life I appreciate. No more going to stores, trying to find an album, discovering it’s sold out and doing it all over again. Just press a couple of keys and poof you got it. So as I said one of things in life I appreciate.
The album, Scars and Souvenirs, is by a Canadian band called Theory of a Deadman. And it is quite a good listen. But as you can probably guess by the name it is a bit of a downer. You know the hard luck, bad wife angst that is so typical these days. It is good music though.
There is a song on the disc called “I Hate My Life” and it is a great tune but the lyrics will bring down even the most insane optimist. OK he hates his life, but if you get the chance listen to the lyrics. It is not his fault. It’s the street person, his wife, his boss, the bad driver. All this is why he hates his life. Of course it can’t be him; it has to be someone else.
And isn’t that the problem. We all have something outside of us that makes us unhappy or something we need outside of us to make us happy. We can’t accept it is up to us, it’s our problem. “If only Bob would stop drinking, I’ll be happy” or “God Damn Bob, his drinking is making me unhappy.” We all say something like that. I’m not saying Bob’s drinking isn’t a problem or causing you stress. But if you are a truly unhappy person, once Bob quits drinking; it will be those damn kids.
But there are people who are the opposite. Everything can be going into the pits and they remain content. I don’t want to bring politics in this, but a perfect example if the recent President Bush. Wars going bad, economy dying, popularity below 35% and he seemed content with himself. I certainly not implying he wanted these things but somehow he did not seem to let them affect him negatively.
So today’s lesson is the true happiness we all seek and deserve does not come from outside it is in us. And the converse is true those bad things have no power to make us “hate our lives” It is us who have that power. We just have to use it.
Ah! The long-awaited post on clearing the mental-emotional energy body…
First of all, what is the mental-emotional body? The mental-emotional body (ME body for short) is the energy created by your mental activity (thoughts, intentions) and your emotions (positive and negative). This is a huge energy field, combining with the energy field created by your physical processes to form the aura. If you think you have 25 lbs to lose on your physical body, just wait until you figure out how much you have to lose on your ME body! Tons! Seriously.
The ME body carries all your baggage. Emotional baggage from your entire history and all the mental, doubtful, fearful ego crap your mind has been doling out for the same length of time. An entire circus caravan and the associated kitchen sinks.
This stuff stays – some of it in your waking consciousness, some of it in your subconscious, some of it in your soul record. As a result, it affects who you are and what you can attract in your life by its sheer mass. If your ME body is filled with joy, love, light, and laughter then you have already cleared out your baggage and can enjoy the rest of your day. For those who horde their baggage like Gollum, my precious, keep reading!
Clearing out the baggage:
Forget about the past. The past is done, forget it. You rewrite your life in every moment. I know this sounds hard, but if you focus on the now – this moment – where you have your power, and you focus on how you feel in this moment, and focus on what you want to intentionally create for the future – you won’t have any time, nor inclination, to revisit the negative past.
Get a new story. If you are always complaining about something, you are feeling like a victim, and then all you’re going to get is more of the same stuff . Do we want that? No. So, what story do you WANT to tell?
Clarify the future. How do you want to feel? What do you want to think? What do you want to experience? Know these – not just what you don’t want. And – don’t bother with the “hows” – just have a clear concept of the outcome you want.
Start now. All you have is right now – this very moment. And it is in this moment that you are creating your future. Are you creating a future that you want?
Baby steps. You can change your life overnight – but this is usually called falling in love or getting in an accident. Otherwise, strong positive change, particularly at the physical and ME body level takes small, progressive steps. Frustration only exacerbates the problem! Just positively concentrate on what you want.
Emotionalize your thoughts. The ME body is tightly linked. Thoughts affect emotions which affect thoughts. Repetitive negative thoughts affects your confidence and your health in the long term. If you use affirmations, which I recommend, you can emotionalize them – make them bigger, better, stronger – with a positive emotional association. How? Say the affirmation. Then remember a time in the past when you felt great/happy/confident/strong, etc., – any positive emotion you want to associate with your affirmation. Say the affirmation again, this time while feeling those emotions. You can even repeat the words for the feelings at the end. For example, your affirmation could be: “I am a successful writer. I feel creative, empowered, wealthy and loved by my readers!” or “I am healthy. I feel strong, lithe, fit and balanced!”
Get in for a tune up! See an energy specialist. There are many, many fields of energy work. Some of the most common include Reiki, EFT (emotional freedom technique), chakra clearing, acupuncture, and reflexology. You can do a google search and find many more. Read about them and find one that appeals to you – then go try it out!
Get regular. Nasty negative gunk sticks to your energy field like gum in your hair. ME body clearing must be performed regularly – just like taking a shower and brushing your teeth! Clear out your energy field at least once a day, and the best time is before you go to sleep. The fastest and easiest is to imagine a bright white or golden light that starts at your solar plexus, inside you, and grows bigger and brighter, expanding outward at least 6 feet (2 metres) from your physical body. Imagine this divine light burning away anything negative, gunky, and unwanted. When the yucky stuff is burned away, imagine that it turns softer and envelops you with love and light.
Shields up! In the morning before you get started with your day (or at least if you leave for work), Imagine a shield – any kind you like – that will protect you from unwanted energy.
This should get you started with the clearing and maintenance of a healthy mental-emotional body.
Please be sure to comment with how it works for you! And how your other clearing levels (environmental and physical) are going for you.
I’ll be posting some additional material on this in the next couple of days.
PS: This is only a brief introduction. All of this will be covered more in-depth in my upcoming book! Stay tuned!!
Photo: Flickr creative commons: Noel Zia Lee
I am a Joss Whedon fan and love his new (ill-fated) series, Dollhouse, starring Eliza Dushku as Echo. If you are not familiar with the series, the premise is that people, the “dolls”, are essentially like computers. You can wipe the slate, er… brain, clean, and then re-program it with whatever personality you want. Others “hire” the dolls for their particular requirements – everything from companionship to bank vault-cracking explosives experts.
What I realized though was that people really can do this! We are not limited by the “cult of personality”. We can “become” someone else. Actors do this all the time. Even Cesar Millan, the Dog Whisperer, recommends doing it.
We an become someone who is already who we want to be! We can act like, and thus feel like, we are already successful. The more we practice this the more it becomes who we are. It affects the energy, or the vibe, we put out into the world. People (and dogs!) react to differently to us. They react to who we are projecting, which in turn affects how we feel about ourselves.
We may not be able to become instant martial arts experts, secret agents or FBI investigators (but with training we could). However, our potential is unlimited! When we become, in that moment, who we want to be – we project confidence, joy, passion, even radiance. And that is who we really are, after all.
So, how does it feel to be a published author?
How does it feel to be the proud owner of a wildly successful business?
How does it feel to be [insert dream here] ?
How does it feel to be who you want to be?!
In the last article we talked about the most basic level of clearing work – the environmental level.
What do I mean by physical clearing? This is clearing at the level of your body – clearing the slate for optimum health and energy. Improving your health will improve your quality of life, improve how you feel, improve your energy levels – including your enthusiasm for life and all its challenges, and give you more time in this life in which to have fun and create! There are a number of ways to approach this, the most basic of which include multiple improvements to diet and exercise. A no-brainer, right? But other things to consider are always well-deserved R & R, and a reconnection to nature.
We always seem to be on the go! We have many interests of our own, those of our kids to encourage and develop, driving all over, not to mention still having chores to do when we get home. We have an unending “to do” or “should” lists, and we are perpetually multi-tasking in order to try and get it all done. Most of us stress about having too little time to do it in. Sound familiar? Time for some R & R.
“R & R ?! I don’t have TIME for R & R!”, you lament. The time for R & R is when you don’t have time for it. R & R, or rest and relaxation, are critical to improving energy flow in our bodies, and without it we will quickly become ill – our bodies will force us to stop.
Rest refers to stillness of the body. You can get more rest by getting more sleep, having a nap (when was the last time you had a nap?), meditation or even having a long, glorious soak in the tub!
Relaxation, on the other hand, may involve more activity, but that which reduces stress and promotes a quiet mind. Lots of hobbies fit the relaxation category – things like gardening, woodworking, scrap-booking, painting, or going for a stroll.
Another physical clearing activity, a form of grounding, is getting back to nature. We live on a beautiful planet! And only in the last several hundred years have we, as a species, started living in cities. Never, at any time in the recorded history of the Earth, have so many people lived in cities! And though cities may be beautiful in some parts, they also cut us off from our roots. We need to have access to nature – even if it is a potted plant! So, please, be aware of your connection to Mother Earth – go visit a park or other green space, enjoy spring! Get your garden started or grow some herbs on your window sill, play in the puddles with your kids, blow puff-ball dandelions and make a wish. Spending time in nature always rejuvenates the soul!
Stay tuned! The next post will tackle mental and emotional clearing.
PS: I have an upcoming series of books called, “I 4C a Bright Future: The 4-Step Program to Create the Life and Career of Your Dreams.” (And, yeah, each step begins with “c”!). Book #1 will deal with the foundation of the program, energetic clearing, in detail for all levels, with lots of tips, examples, exercises and resources. It will be tentatively published May 31, 2009.
PPS: If you need help with clearing work, whether it’s your home or workspace, your personal energies, or your soul-level energies, please see my consultations. They work!
“My Soul Realignment reading was very cool! Informative and scarily accurate in identifying my strengths and challenges, also providing me guidance on how to address the tougher bits of my life.” ~ Kathleen H.